THE PAST

Ever notice that when everything seems to be going peachy something from the past creeps up from the past and takes a BIG shit on you? I thought it was gone but no it rears its ugly head, and now you have the festering pustule too look at. The thing is if you don't take care of it it is gonna hurt like hell for a long time. I may go away again . More than likely it is gonna just hurt like a Mother Father. So what am I to do ? My life has been spent storing all this shit think that it is what made who I am . Yea as a tee I bought into all the shit about that. Where I agree that that does not kills you only makes you stronger. Maybe just maybe you gotta let it go to. So I ask questions . Why did , why didn't I. Will the answer heal no I think that the pain will be there forever. However if the past is work through maybe the pain will be smaller. So maybe just maybe at the cost of loosing some of myself I should take a great big needle and pop that throbbing great beast and let fly all those globs of hurt hate sorrow. After all the slime is gone there might be relief and a better tomorrow . All tho it just might spread the infection around. If the first infection is dealt with will that bring to light a larger problem underneath that was feeding off this small one. Maybe the seen pain is better than the unseen. Why isn't there an easy way around thins a map so to speak that tells pop this but not this. I don't want to dig so deep that I find something in my past that I really don't want to know happened to me. I mean if it is rooted that deeply that my mind has forgotten it as a way of protecting me, then should I start poking stick at the body??????
It is never easy.